Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
