U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
