his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
