Got a toothbrush?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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