Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i came on her dog
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
