you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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