Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
