GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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