i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
as a side note pls kill me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
