I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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