Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
