what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
