So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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