Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
