I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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