You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
