Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize