i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
