you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
