i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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