how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
