Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
