Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
