my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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