dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
