I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
