one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
