Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
