I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
