So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
