Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize