She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
