I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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