should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
