there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
