Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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