I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
