I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
