i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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