Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize