her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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