There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I party with great urgency now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
