I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
