Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
