I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
