Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
