Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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