Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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