just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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