then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
