Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
