It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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