whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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