dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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