using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
