Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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