pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize