you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize