Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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