its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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