marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
