1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize