OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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