is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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