I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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