There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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