i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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