I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My liver just had a heart attack.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
