first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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