I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
