Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
