yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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