This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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