I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
