I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
