you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
