nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
