You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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