Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize