And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
