woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
