brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hate all girls vehemently.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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