What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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