The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
